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Deutsche Bank Trader Says Those Instant Messages About Market Manipulation Were Just A Joke



You've seen the dramatic movie trope: Investigators ask some perp, "Hey, did you do the crime?" And the guy goes, "Um, no." Then the feds slide a single incriminating document across the table, and as a Hans Zimmer concerto swells, they ask, "Now what do you think?" It's more fun if you imagine this Wall Street Journal report happening like that, but basically a bunch of federal agents showed up to the New York home of a Deutsche Bank trader and presented him with "transcripts of an electronic chat in which the trader appeared to boast about trying to manipulate foreign-exchange markets."

The trader's response, according to the report, was something along the lines of: "Oh, you mean those instant messages? That was a joke." From the Journal:
People close to Deutsche Bank say the incident stemmed from a misunderstanding based at least partly on the trader having made a joke, in writing, about his ability to manipulate markets. Mr. Wallden remains a Deutsche Bank employee and hasn't been suspended, these people say.

Tell the one about you and the market manipulation again! That one's a riot.

Bloomberg's Matt Levine offers traders a bit of sage advice here: "The joy you experience when your buddies type 'lol bro u so good at manipulatin hahaha' in your chat room will not compensate for the sadness you experience when the feds knock on your door at 5 a.m."

In fact, regulators in the U.S and abroad are using instant messages in their crusade to round up those responsible for an alleged currency manipulation scandal. And why not? Chat logs have been central to deeming culpability in the Libor investigation.
The development spurred JP Morgan's Jamie Dimon — who recognizes the off-the-cuff, incriminating nature of traderspeak instant messages — to tell employees to not "bullshit" over IM.

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After a small group users of the iPhone 6 Plus reported that it “apparently” bent while carrying in the pocket, Apple found itself in an awkward situation, however, this did not prevent other companies to make joke on this subject, now known as “bendgate”. Apple has received nine reports regarding the bending of the phone so far, and the company regarding this problems, said that “under normal use blaming the phone extremely rare.”



However, although this is a perfectly normal explanation of the reported cases have not been investigated, it has not stopped the world to have a little joke with the most famous and most powerful technology company in the world:









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find the rabbit on the image:

Place it to google and press 'search':

exp(-((x-4)^2+(y-4)^2)^2/1000) + exp(-((x +4)^2+(y+4)^2)^2/1000) + 0.1exp(-((x +4)^2+(y+4)^2)^2)+0.1exp(-((x -4)^2+(y-4)^2)^2)